At the risk of sounding like Jerry Seinfeld, what is the deal with American cheese? I’m hesitant to even call it cheese because the package says “Pasteurized Process Cheese Food.” A couple weeks ago or so, Greg and I ran out of the provolone cheese we’d been eating for months. It was so good, but now it was gone and something needed to be done. Not having the means to go to Costco without crossing town, I opted for some Safeway Lucerne brand American cheese…cheap, plentiful, how could I go wrong? It’s like my every food philosophy epitomized. I was prepared to hate the cheese food when I made a sandwich earlier today. I wanted to hate it. Theoretically, it’s a huge downgrade from provolone and I’M FROM WISCONSIN for crying out loud…the cheese capital of the world (despite what those dirty, subversive Californians would have us believe). Well the “cheese food” was great. Great, I say. I’m looking forward to eating it again, and yet I can’t figure it out. I guess it’s like infomercials…you should never watch them because there has to be something better on, and yet you cannot look away.