I’ll never understand why people clean every week. Well, I can understand cleaning some stuff, like the dishes (it’s just practical to have clean dishes around) or your clothes (chicks don’t dig when you smell like poo or worse), but for the most part it seems ridiculous.
Today I cleaned the bathroom. It never seems like I’m really cleaning, rather it seems that I’m just smearing disgusting germs and filth from one place to another. I don’t really care about the appearance of cleanliness, I just like to know the little microbes and whatnot are dead. I would have the most disgusting bathroom in the world if there were aerosol cans you could hose the room down with and they would kill all the invisible bad things. Anyway, the bathroom just seems to get dirty again and it’s a never-ending cycle of me doing something I don’t want to do. Here’s what makes more sense to me: you have a completely disgusting bathroom, but you only have to go in there to “take care of business.” That seems better than a somewhat disgusting bathroom that you clean every week and have to get down on your hands and knees in to clean invisible fecal particles off the ground. I just want to vomit in there, even though it looks clean.
Not our toilet (I swear)
Back at my old apartment, freshman year, I had my own bathroom and I was the only person who used it. I swear to you, I cleaned that thing twice in the 9 months or so that I lived there. TWICE. I’m still alive and I don’t regret a thing. The only thing that makes me clean now is the social stigma of being a “gross bathroom guy” and the withering stare I get from Greg if I don’t do my pre-onecommunity chores.
It’s all a conspiracy by SC Johnson Wax or the Clorox people. Forget them, I’ll live in my own filth just like people in the middle ages. They did all right, didn’t they? What? They only lived like 30 years tops? Nevermind…