Alright, this is a first for me, I believe. I’ve never hastily written a blog entry in protest of what must be seen as a violation of my civil rights. I’m being repressed as we speak, for Greg is listening to smooth jazz.
Now don’t get me wrong; I have just an eclectic taste in music as anyone else. For crying out loud, my latest cd compilation consisted of a fine mix of folk music, classic rock, old-school alternative, and gangsta rap. I have to say, I draw the line at smooth jazz. Real jazz (i.e. Louis Armstrong, Miles Davis, John Coltrane, Dizzy Gillespie, etc, etc, etc) is great, but smooth jazz just seems like a violation of that finer form. Perhaps I’m misguided here, but I’ve always thought that smooth jazz is to real jazz what powdered milk is to whole milk. It’s like a sick shadow of the real thing. It’s kinda like if someone with a tremendous amount of drawing skill drew a portrait of a nude Roseanne hugging a nude Rosie O’Donnell on a Slip ‘n’ Slide. I can appreciate the skills required, but no person should ever have to look at the result.
Anyway, it’s over now, but just a few minutes ago Greg was listening to a Kenny G instrumental cover of Eric Clapton’s excellent “Tears in Heaven.” Kenny G is a clown. Sure, he’s mightily talented, but where does that get ya? If some guy came to town with a finely tuned armpit orchestra, I wouldn’t go see him, despite his skill. Ok, I take that back. I’d be MORE likely to go see an armpit orchestra than I would be to go see Kenny G. I swear, after hearing Kenny appropriate a great song like “Tears in Heaven,” I just want to get in the shower (that has nothing to do with the fact that I haven’t showered yet).
Greg, I’m begging you…on behalf of the rest of the apartment, on behalf of good taste, on behalf of ERIC CLAPTON HIMSELF…please stop playing smooth jazz. I’d rather listen to Bjork.
Side note: You know what the worst part is? When I said, “Oh man Greg, smooth jazz again?” he said, “This isn’t smooth jazz, it’s Kenny G.” Don’t you see what you’ve become? Is anyone else interested in holding an intervention?