So anybody who’s been counting has noticed that I haven’t made a significant post since my 21st birthday.
That was 20 days ago. 20 days of nothing from me and very little from Brad and Steve. The truth is, I’ve been busy, and Steve and Brad have been slacking. So what have I been doing? Let’s take a look at my favorite events:
May 3 – Reorganizing Sock and Underwear Drawer -
Steve and I share an underwear dresser (separate drawers) and a couple of days/weeks ago I heard Steve yelling something about not being able to open his top drawer because my bottom two were overloading the whole drawer opening mechanism. Blah blah blah…something about not getting clean underwear. I didn’t really care until I went in Saturday morning and couldn’t open my drawer either. It was like that moment when you pour too much milk in your cereal and all the oat kernals perch precariously on edge. Like that only with underpants. Ready to spill out. At any moment…seriously, don’t put that spoon in too fast and don’t even think about walking with that bowl in hand. CEREAL EVERYWHERE!!! YOU STEPPED IN IT!!! I WARNED YOU FOOL!!!
The point is, they were poking out of the drawer. Something was missing from that. I actually had a moment involving cereal in my pants this morning, hence the poor analogy.
So I hunkered down and started sorting underwear and socks. I shielded myself from the initial blast of male panties when I pulled the first pair out. It made a comical “Sproing!” sound and undergarments were everywhere. Old memories fell like the shrapnel of a hand grenade. “I ripped those when I was tired and fell over putting them on…Good times in those…I remember that stain…Roseanne?” I was surprised when I found several pairs with only one leg hole. Only later did I discover I had somehow meandered into the hat drawer. I came back to the drawers’ drawer. I looked inside, and I think a tear welled up. I loved them all, but I don’t know why I held on to them in spite of their flaws and for so long. I even uncovered a stash of underwear from when I was like 8. They were so small, and they had holes. Maybe sentimental value. Regardless, I looked at them, contemplated whether or not to keep them, and threw them aside in the “Maybe Save” pile. The “Maybe Save” pile ended up with eight pairs of ripped underwear, 3 socks with toe holes, 2 with heel holes, 4 with toe and heel holes, and a weird sock with a stretched ankle. I considered shoving them back to that hellhole they came from (at the bottom of the drawer), but eventually I decided to part with them. “Into the trash, ripped underwear!” Strangely, I threw everything else back in the drawer, and it still didn’t close. Screw it, time for something more fun.
I eventually found myself sorting through shirts. I concluded the whole event by tossing out the “Celtic Druid” shirt I had picked up from Savers and wore one time for my Luigi Costume. Good investment.
May 5 – 8 – Non Stop Homework Action
I have a final portfolio review on the 13th, which is the true reason why I haven’t been posting. I have been working on so much homework that I’ve become a bitter man. Hence, I’ve decided to not post in lue of sharing “My Life Sucks” posts. But if you were wondering, my life sucks.