As I was writing this post, a huge cockroach rappelled down my window blinds. I immediately jumped up, shrieked “oh jeez” and pranced around my room on tip toe and yelled various sounds and things like, “How do I kill it?” I ran out of my room for some reason, and I assume I began looking for something that said “Insect Smashin’ Device.” Mainly I just wanted to get as far away from it as possible. I concluded after a few minutes of hiding that procrastination on this situation wasn’t an option. In only a matter of time, that cockroach would build a hut under my pillow and wait until 2:34 am and crawl into my open mouth and make babies in my cavities. I immediately geared up into ‘man-mode’, went back in my room, found an “Insect Smashin’ Device” (my sandal), approached the beastie, and using wicked backswing, smashed that mug deep into the crevices of the wall. It fell slowly to the floor, crippled. Death filled the room. Curiosity overwhelmed me. I turned over the agent of death to see the aftermath: a huge glob of cream of wheat insect innards lurked at the bottom. I let out an ‘eeP!’ and dropped the sandal and returned to prance mode.
I’m 21 years old, and no matter how much of a front I put on, I’m still a huge pansy.