Who is this you wonder? I know in the minds of all chimpsahoy regulars (and jovially employed primates, Greg and Brad) I’m like a prodigal son, returning to post only when I realize how low my life has sunk because of my lack of association with chimpsahoy. I think of things differently, however.
I like to think of myself as some sort of classical Greek god. I let the mere mortals like Greg and Brad toil away on the minutiae of running a successful humor-based website. I, with Olympian detachment, scan the posts, peruse the comments, and make sure that no one has dissed me. On those occasions, I’ll either hurl a mighty thunderbolt or post inept insults like, “Brad, at least I don’t wear tight underwear to make my cube steak look bigger” or “Greg, at least my facial hair doesn’t look like a cat regurgitated a hairball on my chin.” It really could go either way.
All things considered, I am sorta sick of being an absentee web-deity on what was originally a joint venture between Greg and I. Sure, I don’t know anything about web development software, but I feel like I owe it to our veritable legion of five or six fans to regale them with gratuitously inflated stories of personal downfall and childish complaint and frustrate them with my pompous display of newly acquired vocabulary words (that have more to do with my unhealthy addiction to dictionary.com than with any inherent ability of my pea-sized brain).
Let the poo jokes and self-inflicted injury stories resume! Long live Steve! May you sacrifice your virgins to me forever more!