TJ and I went to the grocery store today. Some highlights:
- TJ and I were talking to a chum that we ran into when TJ starts to laugh uncontrollably. I look around and see a woman, probably in her late fifties, lying on the ground. Ah, the irony…she was holding a huge box (24 pack) of beer. Oh man…TJ would not stop laughing. He kept saying, “She just fell over and she had a BIG BOX OF BOOZE!!!”
- I bought cereal. Greg and TJ have been sitting around for days eating cereal…it’s like some crazy addiction for them. TJ even bought a custom bowl for cereal eating. I finally gave into the craze and bought Golden Grahams, Frosted Flakes, and some fat free milk. We now have 4 jugs of milk in the fridge…the top shelf will buckle any day. The only problem: I can’t stop eating cereal. My whole life, cereal has been the one thing that I have absolutely no control over. I realize now that, once my current supply is expended, I can never purchase the sweet, sweet delights again. I can’t be trusted with the fruits of General Mills, Post, and Kellogg’s, lest I return to my previous condition as a very fat man.
- I bought creamer. I bought a lot of creamer. My coffee addiction has gotten out of hand. I now wholly depend on the legal stimulant to get through my days. Yesterday I had four cups. What’s becoming of me? Soon I will be more coffee than man (or maybe more creamer than man…I think my joe consists primarily of creamer).
Now a song about the grocery store (sung to the tune of the Spider Man theme):
Grocery store, grocery store
Head to Safeway when life’s a bore
Get some cream, for the joe
Crap, express lane’s movin’ slow
Laugh hard! Some drunk chick just fell down!